Finding the Supreme
Chapter 9 — The Godline
It’s been said through the ages that god is “nearer than the nearest” to us.
People often ask how to distinguish between an inner voice that we know is ‘mine’ versus an inner voice that we know is not the me we have always heard inside.
M: Well, it looks like we’re halfway there, god – (in writing this book).
G: I’m all the way there.
M: God, I’m lost!
G: Until you have me you don’t know where you are. After you have me it doesn’t make any difference.
M: I’m scared, god!
G: I’m god, Scared.
M: If I get much happier, I will pass out!
G: The idea is to pass in.
These responses seem to be beautifully tuned to our own personality. Which makes it impossible at first to distinguish who is speaking. Add to this the fact that if you tell people you are god they put you away but if you tell people they are god, they don’t, and we are all set up to ignore an amazing and common aspect of inner experience. A business colleague who also heard from god internally once said to me, “You know, we are officially crazy. If they find out about this, they lock us up.” While he was kidding, we both knew the point.
Almost everyone wants to talk to god. But here might be 7 billion godly communication styles. How do we tell when we hear one for us? We don’t know how to tell when thoughts, voices, images, feelings, we have inside are communications from god and when they are our own. This confusion plus the frequent ridicule and even fear associated with hearing voices cause us to give up on it.
For me it started at about age 18 when god flew in the window one day when I was listening to some classical music. Nothing was said, just a clear feeling of lordly presence flew in with a breeze, looked around, and faded away. Crazy, yes? Yes, and while it was an intimate and lovely experience, it had no context in my life. But if I dismissed it, how is it that for this (classified) number of years, I remember it perfectly?
I am convinced, in fact I “know”, that all people have experiences of communicating with god. For some of us it is in language, some in images, for some it is feelings, visions, and so on, but everyone hears from the Supreme. Some feel god in their children, some have a vague feeling of god’s presence, and so on. Some get knocked off their horses. We see and feel god in nature, in animals, in the sky, everywhere. But it is in this “first contact” experience that lies the opportunity we often miss. And it is in the first contact experiences that we reject what is happening to us and in us.
There are hotlines for mental health, overeating, abuse, even fishing, but no deity hotlines? Humans have organized to help each other with all manner of problems and solutions, but there aren’t any 800 numbers to ask if I have been personally contacted by the CEO and Chairman of the Board of the entire universe of universes?
Hi, God Hotline, what’s your question?
Oh, hi, I just heard this rushing wind in my mind, and it seemed to have a smile on it and a feeling of love, but it scares me, what is it?
No worries, it’s god, just ask what took so long and ask any question you want.
Hello, God Hotline, may you help you?
Oh, this is crazy but I just heard someone say in my head, “You are loved”.
It’s god. Tell her you love her too.
God hotline, what’s your question?
Er, well, is this call being recorded?
Only by god, did he give you this number?
Uh, no, I don’t think so, I just saw it on a billboard.
Who do you think put up the billboard, what’s your question?
Well, I was walking my dog, and I was hung over and feeling awful because my whole life is a mess. Then my dog looked at me and I swear to god smiled at me, and I heard inside, How can you be so messed up if this dog loves you so much?” It scared me half to death! My dog doesn’t talk!
Haha, I understand, it’s crazy, right?
That’s OK, I am informed to tell you that was the infinite lord of all space and time checking in with you to ask you to look into your dog’s eyes and talk to god through, what is the dog’s name?…
… talk to god through George.
Are you kidding?
No, but god may be kidding with you, only your guardian angel knows for sure. They both use any means they think will get to you to get to you.
Godline, may he help you?
May who help me?
God, isn’t that why you called?
Yes, I guess so.
So, I pray, and pray, and pray, but I never hear anything back.
One second … oh, ok, so what happens at the end of your prayers?
Silence. When else do you hear silence?
What do you mean?
I mean do you ever hear nothing during the day?
Do you ever hear nothing at night when you are not praying?
So how do you know you are hearing silence?
Well, it feels like silence.
Meaning I don’t know, it’s just different, sort of like nobody’s there.
But until then there was somebody there?
Well, I was there.
OK, so how did you know you were there?
What? What do you mean?
So you are there, and you are praying. How do you know you are there when you pray?
I guess because I can hear myself.
So then after you say “Amen” you can’t hear yourself, because you are not talking, right?
So does that mean you are not there any more?
No, I’m still there.
Ah. OK, so you can know you are there when you aren’t doing anything.
I guess so, yeah.
And then what happens again, at the end?
I say Amen and then I hear nothing.
You said there is just silence.
OK, do you hear silence any other time in your life but at the end of one of your prayers?
Oh, no, I guess not.
Great, so silence is something you “get” through prayer, is that right?
So you’re still there after you say amen, and suddenly also there is there a silence that you never hear except then.
I guess so.
What does the silence feel like.
I don’t know.
No, really, is there any feeling to the silence?
Hello, still there?
Yes, I just don’t know what you mean.
No problem, we’re just talking about something you do every night and that never gets answered, right?
And we see that something unusual happens at the end of every nightly prayer, is that not correct? That at the end of every prayer you perceive a silence that you don’t perceive at any other time in your day.
Well, all right, but I don’t see how this means anything.
Say “Amen” right now.
Please say “Amen” right now, OK?
Good did you hear any silence? Before I asked you?
Because I only hear it when I am trying to talk to god.
Wonderful, so we know something happens every time you talk to god that doesn’t happen usually but that it makes you think he’s not there.
All right my friend, I think we could go on, but I am getting the feeling you don’t need to right now, is that correct?
Uh, yes, I’m just confused a little. But I guess I see there is something there. Is there anything else I can do to find out more?
Sure, he says you should listen louder.
That’s what he says, listen louder, and he’ll be more there.
Oh my God, OK, OK, thanks. Bye.
Godline, we tell you you’re you, can I answer any questions?
Yes, what is the meaning of the Universe?
Scott Adams answered that question, it’s 42. Anything else?
Hahaha, good one, I knew that.
That 42 thing.
Right, Bill Cosby did too when they taught him in kindergarden “one and one is two”, but he then said, “yeah, what’s a two”.
Hahaha, that’s a good one, what’s a two.
So if the meaning of the universe is 42 but we don’t know what a 2 is, where do we go from that?
Well, I don’t have any idea.
Ok, thanks for calling the God Hotline!
I don’t know but yesterday when I was walking to work I got the strangest feeling…
Which was …
Which was that I wasn’t there.
Oh, wow, what was that like?
Well it was OK, it was just weird. It was like everything sort of stopped.
And then what happened?
And then I don’t know why, I just said, “Who’s there?”
Then I heard “we are, who else?”
Who said that?
Well it was me, but it wasn’t me. I mean, it was my voice, but I wouldn’t say anything like that. And I DON’T hear voices, OK, I mean, I NEVER hear voices, I’m not like that, OK?
Anything else about the voice?
It kinda glowed.
Yeah, it had a sort of neon sign feeling, but not too much…
Ever talk to yourself before in neon?
No, never did that, but I thought I better call in case…
In case what?
In case it was something I ought to know about.
Ah, well, I am getting the feeling you do know about it.
Uh, yeah, I just don’t know.
I understand, you mean you think it was you telling you that you AND you were there, sort of?
Yeah, I guess, sorta.
Tell me more.
Well it was like a voice, yes, and my voice, but not my voice exactly, and it felt bigger like you say, but it also felt more like me than me, does that make any sense?
Perfectly. Yes, it was like you and a you you knew you knew, but you never knew you knew you. How about that?
Yes, exactly, you too?
Yes, me too, we have that all the time.
Who do you think the you is?
Well, like an angel?
Sure, why not. So maybe there is an angel inside of you, is that OK?
Yeah, I can’t tell anybody, but it doesn’t bother me.
Ever hear angels before?
No, not that I know of.
So somehow this angel felt a little bit like you, yes?
Well, she didn’t feel weird, or like outside me, or like accusing me or anything.
She felt familiar?
But you never talked to her before.
So how could somebody you never talked to feel familiar?
Gosh, I don’t know, you’re supposed to have all the answers.
No, that’s the point, it’s you who have all the answers, I’m just here to let you finally tell somebody you do, who won’t turn you into the Feds.
Sorry, so then some personality or entity, is in your head and answered you when “everything stopped”, is that it.
And you are wondering …
Well I just want to know what’s going on.
Did you get a sense this was somehow special? A special experience?
So how special?
So like it was important. Like looking for something. Hearing maybe something nobody else hears, but I can’t tell anybody really.
Did it feel friendly?
Oh, yes, for sure, real friendly, but not pushy, not sort of trying to actually make me do anything or anything.
OK, so you asked, “Who’s there?” And there was this friendly answer that seemed not to need or want anything from you said “We are of course”, do I have that exactly right?
So, Sir, why was it “we”?
But that’s why I am calling you, to find out!
And why would it say “we”, instead of anything else.
Well obviously if there was a question and an answer, somebody answered and that makes two.
But I thought you said it didn’t really feel like anybody else.
Not exactly, it felt like somebody new that I already knew, but never knew before, you know?
I do, and this answerer, did she or hew want anything from you? Was there any sort of instruction to keep talking to them, that anything was going to happen, or that they were waiting for more questions?
Oh, no it was really different, something answered and then just waited.
Waited, is that how it was? How do you know it was waiting?
Well, I didn’t realize it then but now you say, I felt like it was still there.
OK, good, still there. But not saying anything, right?
So is it still there now?
What the hell are you talking about?
No, you are talking about it, I just asked you if something you heard from and then it was waiting, is still waiting…
Holy cow? Why is the cow holy.
No, I mean, wait a minute, wait a minute …
Been a minute, what’s up.
You asked me if it is still there.
How did you know it?
That it is still there.
And what is it doing?
It’s still waiting!
Waiting for what?
I don’t know, it’s not waiting for anything, it’s just a waiting thing. This is totally, I mean totally, spooky. It’s like it could answer more questions, or not, or just be there, it doesn’t want anything, it’s just there.
You are making me go crazy!
Hahaha, I don’t have the power to do that, do you feel like this is crazy?
Yes, I do. That’s kinda why I called, I don’t know what this is!
Well you told me you knew what it was, that it’s really you.
Well I didn’t mean that. Or at least I didn’t mean that now. It’s like something else.
Fine, is it still there?
Yes, not as much.
Not exactly, just not waiting as much, sort of going into the background.
Ok so is that crazy?
I guess not, it’s better, not as weird.
Tell me, am I going nuts?
No sir, you are going sane. You’re just not familiar with it and like everything new it’s a bit strange, and I think if you are ready anytime to think about this presence you felt, and ask it what it is, maybe you will find it’s OK.
Well, I’m not sure. Can I call you back if anything else happens.
Oh, absolutely, I’d like to hear from you. Just like your new presence, I am always here. Bye for now
So perhaps if we had a place like this to call when we have an experience of ourselves that isn’t like the selves we were born with, it would help. If we knew that everybody else has this kind of thing happen also, it wouldn’t feel upsetting if we could get a little validation.
And we could all go sane together.